About last night…
Actually, let’s start 48 hours ago.
Generally we’re up from 11:30-12:15 and 3:00-3:45 and 5:15-6:00. Ish. We expect this. What we don’t expect is to wake up in between to a shit explosion from the dog. Poop. Diarrhea all over her pad. Awesome. Something else to deal with in the middle of the night – on top of the cat peeing on our bath mat.
In an exhausted haze in the morning we got Harper ready. Then we hear “lucky” (yucky) – she stepped in a pile of crap. Gross. So we quickly did a cleaning and costume change and got her off to school. All day I felt like the apt smelled like poop. Because it probably did.
Nathan got home and I told him I thought I smelled something. After we both got on all fours sniffing around the apartment. We found the culprit. The dog had – apparently – during her bout with an internal colon hurricane – found herself behind all the baby swings, in the corner of apt – and pooped UP the baby gate and all over the floor. Fucking gross.
Then last night. Oh last night. The usual spit up. Diaper changes. Etc. But on one special occasion I rolled over and felt like my leg and arm were wet. I hoped beyond hope that the dog had just peed on her mat and what i felt was her having just cleaned herself. That would have been the best case scenario. I knew in my gut that was not to be true. When i rolled over i felt a squish. Yup. Poop. The dog had pooped in the bed. Fucking disgusting.
So we dealt with that – in between the midnight and 3am feeds. Then, obviously the babies wouldn’t go back to sleep. At 6:45 i decided I needed to shower before Nathan left for the day and I didn’t have a chance. So I walked towards the kitchen. Squish. Fucking poop.
I yell that I’m about to get in the shower and I hear Nathan scream – Oh Goddddd. I thought someone was dying. Nope. JB had a total diaper blow out ALL OVER. All over himself. All over Nathan. Nathan says, I get to shower first.
After clean up he walks towards the bathroom. The cat had peed outside his litter box.
Now I have done laundry every morning this week – today was no different.
Go to wake Harper up. Guess who has a cold.
And to top it all off. THERE’S NO MILK FOR MY COFFEE.
I truly hope you’re all having a better week…i must go, I have two screaming babies.
Happy Hump day (what’s the earliest it’s acceptable to drink?)