Trying to put feelings into words, sometimes, is a feat impossible to master. The blessings I have encountered in recent history are far too many to recount. Perfection is unattainable and unrealistic – but if there’s something close, I truly think I’ve found it. Life has a funny way of running you ragged right up until everything makes sense. My world was completed this week and yesterday, on my birthday I wished for nothing else, for me.
I do wish for healing in this world, globally and locally. I do wish for people, and governments, to be kinder. I do wish for good things, peace and love and happiness for all who strive for it – and for all the animals, of course, the animals. (And ok, maybe I wish for a tad more sleep and money).
Thank you for the incredible outpouring of love and support – there seems to just be something about twins 🙂
While I wait for the surge of hormones to hit me, which it will for better or for worse – I’ll be right here. Wrapped up tightly with those I hold closest. Forgive me if I take a moment to respond – I’m trying to breathe it all in so deeply that these moments stay with me, in the core of my being, for my eternity.
Thank you ❤️ Happy Birth Day, Indeed.
Today Harper turns 20 months (and finally in size 4 diapers!) Today I turn 35 weeks pregnant. This past weekend I had the downtime I have yet to give myself in these last 9 months. I had time to really appreciate how incredibly lucky I have been to have the most wonderful little girl and perfect little family. And then the emotions came pouring over me like a tidal wave.
Why are we changing this special life? How will Harper ever get the same kind of love she’s used to? Did we make the wrong decision? How will we possibly make this work? Is it all a mistake? No way I can love these two the way I love MHP. There were some tears. (And probably some hormones.) The weather didn’t help. But at the end of it all what I realized is – this is all part of this crazy, wild ride we’re on called: life. No, it is not going to be easy at the beginning, even if the newborn photos look idyllic because, swoon: twins!
Yes, we are rocking the boat and adding so much more to our already full lives. But I never thought I wanted a child in the first place. And Harper changed my entire perspective on life and love. What’s to come is unknown. But what’s certain and true is that we are about to be blessed with the most incredible gift(s) in the world. We have each other, our family, our friends – and this long strange trip we’re all on is about to get even stranger. There will be ups. There will be downs. There will be struggles and there will be laughs and smiles beyond our wildest expectations. Life has a funny way of working out – maybe not the way we planned – but falling into place nonetheless. Thank you for your friendship, your support (your humoring my verbose brain dumps on social media.)
Life is about to get fucking crazy.
And. We. Are. Ready. (No we’re not, but is anyone truly? Ever?)
Bring it, babies.